CNBC 'reported' this morning that 45% of all paper money printed by the Treasury is $1 bill denomination. Everyone and their mother is so concerned about the Fed bailing out Bear Stearns that this has COMPLETELY flown under the radar. Riddle me this Batman: which is the greater evil? Bailing out exotic dancers or Wall Street executives? It can be argued that both are, on the whole, largely over-paid, especially relative to performance. The differentiating factor though, is that due to the Treasury's subterfuge, strippers represent a solid hedge in a struggling economy. In a nod to our friends at Long or Short Capital, I suggest going long strippers (although you might want to keep size in-check), and short rich white guys (especially John Meriwether).