1-2Knockout Derivative & Structured Products Desk: Hannah Montana Downfall Futures

By: Anal_yst

We here at 1-2Knockout would like to inform you, our clients (real or imagined) that we will be commencing trading in our newest product offering: Miley Cyrus Downfall Futures ("MCDF")!  The newest and most efficient way to trade Hannah Montana!

We will be offering a variety of maturities in our MCDF contracts, currently going out to November 2010 (which is coincidently when she turns 18).  Prices will be quoted from par ($1.00 implies 100% probability of downfall by expiration), where the 'strike' (so-to-speak) will be based off the definition of downfall found in your (non-existent) prospectus.  MCDF are marginable and are short-eligible (although why anyone in their right mind would place such a trade is questionable at best).   To summarize though, any of the following will constitute a "downfall":

• Drug/alcohol use (abuse)
• Sex scandal of any sort
• Caught hanging out in public with any of the following:
  • Paris Hilton
  • Brandon Davis
  • Lindsay Lohan (immediate downfall trigger)
  • 1-2
  • etc

• Stint in rehab/counseling
• Sudden drastic changes in behavior (e.g. Britney Spears)
• Other, similar things, see prospectus for details.

Risk factors to consider are limited, as our abstract research desk (on loan from Long or Short Capital, shhh) has informed us that for longer-dated maturities, MCDF contracts are highly likely to yield outsized returns.  Insofar as any investment or speculative product can, it is our view that MCDF represents as close to a "sure thing" as any we've seen to date*, and that "its only a matter of time".  For reference though, risks include:

• Billy Ray Cyrus/non-abusive/psychotic family
• Disney
• Her continued ability to avoid hanging out with the Olsen Twins
• Religion

Mylie Cyrus Downfall Future contracts.  Long debauchery, short wholesome family goodness.

* Neither Anal_yst or 1-2Knockout, or its representatives recommend any particular investment or investment strategy.  MCDF contracts are (currently) abstract and do not actually "exist".  Consult your investment advisor before making any investments (either real or imagined).

Comments

[celebrity movie archive]

You are using Miley is PR company, right. Its great idea.

[Jordan Retro 8]

Just as the saying goes that you are never too old to learn. I believe it. At first keeping reading all the way can enrich our leisure and knowledge. We can learn a lot from reading. Do you think so?

[coach purses]

Abundance is a life style, a way of living your life. It isn’t something you buy now and then or pull down from the cupboard, dust off and use once or twice, and then return to the cupboard.

[John Walker]

This is an amazing site. Its great idea.

[Cheap Escorts]

somehow stumbled upon your blog while searching for a post for a class, but I have to say I'm glad I found it ...will definately subscribe sometime.

[Cheap Escorts]

somehow came across your blog while searching for a article for a class, but I have to say I'm glad I found it ...will definately browse more sometime.

[Oralee GolubRubye HeeterPeter LochridgeDodie Twining]

somehow found your blog while searching for a article for a class, but I have to say I'm happy I found it ...will definately read some more post sometime.

[cheap escorts essex]

somehow found your blog while searching for a article for a class, but I have to say I'm happy I found it ...will definately browse more sometime.

[adult cams]

Thanks for a marvelous posting!actually enjoyed reading it, you will be a great author.I will be sure to bookmark your blog and will often come back very soon. I want to encourage you to definitely continue your great posts, have a nice holiday weekend!

[julia]

Thanks for your marvelous posting! I genuinely enjoyed reading it, you're a great author.I will make certain to bookmark your blog and will come back in the foreseeable future.

[Learn Sexual Health]

Why the need to throw the stones so early? Maybe she will have a very normal life, at least balanced! I mean, Britney Spears is not every one and I think people sometimes is waiting for celebrities to break down instead of success. Leeches! if69

[Jennifer Carr]

very good site glad I found it

[adult chat rooms]

Thanks for one's marvelous posting! I truly enjoyed reading it, you will be a great author.I will be sure to bookmark your blog and will often come back very soon. I want to encourage that you continue your great job, have a nice morning!