1-2 Knockout

You Suck, New Jersey Transit

Right now I'm sitting on a powerless NJ shorebound train, somewhere between Penn Station in NYC and the other side of the Hudson River, in NJ. Its been like.this for the past hour or so, despite the fact that again, we're probably less than one mile from our starting point. If it weren't entirely obvious, I'd just like to say, this sucks.
The worst part is that I was just going to drive down, but figured the certainty ("certainty") of arrival time on the train made it a far more attractive alternative than driving, which could take anywhere from 2 to 6 or more hours. Great call, Anal, great call...

Hope you're all enjoying your saturday more than I am!

Happy Labor Day!

Enjoy your 3+ day weekend, and remember, drink domestic (or quasi-domestic as it were) brews, grill up some dogs/burgers, hit up the beach, and make it happen. 
I decided  - due to time/weather constraints - to start it off on a high note...

The 5,000+ calorie meal...God Bless America!

Yes, it's true

Thank you to everyone for your help and support.

In an effort to bring a little light unto this foggy day, I give you this gold:

Slow News Day: Al Gore, Raging Hypocrite

Strategically placed between tonight's Daily Show and Colbert Report was the 1st ad I've seen on cable from Al Gore's current muse, the We Campaign.  Basically, its the same empty crap we've heard from him for years, except with a "viral" edge (because when you think Al Gore, you really think viral...) 

The best part about this one commercial (I haven't even delved into whats surely plenty of other silliness on the website) is the blatant contradiction that sits at its very core:

So friends, which is it?  Do you want 100% clean energy in 10 years, or do you want cheap gas, cus, uh, hate to be the one to point out the obvious, but you most certainly can't have it both ways.  Sorry, but reality sucks, maaaan.

"Irony, Defined": The New York Post

Could it be more ironic that the pop-up ad on the New York Post's website is for the "Dumb Test"? 

"You may act smart, but are you really dumb?", it asks, mockingly, knowing full well the answer is a foregone conclusion.

Touche to the ad people @ News Corp.  Their use of subversive insults to drive online ad revenue represents a groundbreaking approach to internet marketing strategies.  What's next?  Pop-ups on Gawker for the "Whiny bitch" test?  the "Are you seriously PMSing right now" quiz on Jezebel? 

We're very excited about this new strategy, and look forward to seeing it implemented across teh entire interwebs in the coming months.

Who wants to see I.O.U.S.A?

Thursday, the Warren Buffet/Pete Peterson-backed documentary film, I.O.U.S.A. will be released in theaters across the country, with a live (or so we're told) q&a with the Oracle of Omaha (and whatever Peterson's nickname is) themselves after the film's conclusion.

I'm debating seeing it, if for no other reason then to see if its just another fluff piece full of vagaries and relatively empty accusations.

Thoughts?

This (er, Last) Week in "Duh": Price Hikes Work

In modern economics (slash for the purposes of this post), price hikes have two effects:

1. Discourage consumption
2. Encourage consumers to seek lower-priced substitute goods

Politicians like to think they can operate in an alternate reality where the basic laws of economics don't apply.  Of course, since most of their constituents also like to think they're immune from these very same laws, the pols get to act all surprised when their best laid plans invariably go to hell, but thats another story for another time.   From Monday's WSJ:

Politicians in Annapolis are scratching their heads wondering what happened to all those chain smokers who were supposed to help balance Maryland's budget. Last year the legislature doubled the cigarette tax to $2 a pack to pay for expanded health-care coverage. Eight months later, cigarette sales have plunged 25% and the state is in fiscal distress again.

Amazing, all it took to get people to buy less cigarettes (not smoke less, per say), was to make cigarettes more expensive.  Of course, the best laid plans of mice and men oft' go awry, all that much more often when the men in question happen to be politicians.   

A few pols are pretending to be happy that 30 million fewer cigarette packs have been bought in the state so far this year. As House Majority Leader Kumar Barve put it, fewer people smoking is "a good thing." Yes, except that Maryland may be losing retail sales more than smokers. Residents of Maryland's Washington suburbs can shop in nearby Virginia, where the tax is only 30 cents a pack, and save at least $15 per carton.

And herein lies the beauty of politics: Despite the fact that Maryland's legislation was inherently flawed and doomed to fail from the very beginning, the fault lies not with the State's elected officials, but with those uncooperative bastards from the neighboring states.  Rule #1 (or is it #2?) of politics: make sure you can always, ALWAYS blame the other guy (who(m)ever that may be). 

While we can never be 100% certain, the sad(est?) part is that most of the brain trust that is the Maryland Legislature probably thought it was a good idea.

Funny how basic economics works.

Duh.

(note: This post was started back on 8/12, its just...uh...yea took a while, deal)

This Week in "Huh?": Sino-Commie Invasion

Perhaps this is the doing of Comrade Paulson. 

Outside the NYSE:

argh

In light of recent vigilance by corporate overlords, 1-2 and myself have decided to be a bit more discrete in our, uh, extracurricular activities, lest we suffer the same fate as Large, the erstwhile publisher of takeareport.  Combined with -gasp- actually being very busy of late, we haven't been able to hammer out as many posts as we'd like.  Fret not, however, we've got some stuff in the works to put up, eventually...

 

Thanks for sticking with us through these trying times, or something.

(Financial) Engineering Gone Horribly Awry

What does this remind you of (specifically frame 4...)?

via xkcd